Announcer (on video game): Welcome, game fans, to the one, the only, Shoot ’em Up Battle! In the first corner of the map, Player 1 spawns in!
??? 1: Dinner’s ready! You’re eating some beating!
??? 2: That made no sense.
Announcer: Weighing in at we haven’t weighed yet, Player 2 spawns in!
??? 2: It’s time to d-d-d-d-duel!
Announcer: In the next corner, it’s the Champion of Being Named Champion, Player 3 spawns in!
??? 3: Like a coal burns, my insults burn harder.
??? 1: What? You know what, nevermind.
Annoucer: And last, but certainly not least in our hearts, Player 4 spawns in!
??? 4: Ready to lose, Squad?
??? 1 and ??? 3: We’ll pass, thanks.
Announcer: Ready, set…
*a portal appears, and Alexa falls out of it*
Alexa: Ugh… Nagdabbit, Itch! Wait… Hey, this isn’t E’s apartment complex!
??? 2: Ah, shut it, game. *they pause it, then everyone turns towards the portal*
*Itch, TAS, Vampi, Mizana, and Nephri come out of the portal*
Nephri: Who are these people, nya?
??? 4: We’ll answer that, mate, but first, what in tarnation are you doing here?
Alexa: It’s a long story. Now, would you mind telling us who you are?
??? 1: My personality’s as hard as the name implies, I’m Obsidian Bass!
??? 2: A cabin by dark, but when the sun comes up, it’s FortLite!
??? 3: Shaped from a coal, but with a sharp intellect, Diamond!
??? 4: With a nifty gadget and unmasked features, the TechNeko strikes!
All ???s: And together we are… The DJ Squad!
Vampi: Those are… interesting names.
TechNeko: Trust me, our real names are much more interesting.
Itch: Then do you mind telling us them?
FortLite: Fine. Isaac Fortlorn.
Obsidian: Jenny Nihire.
Diamond: Caidence Banisworth.
TechNeko: Alexa Hattomi.
Alexa: Wait… Did you say… Alexa Hattomi?
Alexa II: Yep. Alexa Hattomi.
*silence is heard for 10 seconds*
Alexa: Yeah, all of you might wanna come with us. Now that we’ve seen each other’s universes’ selves, your universe is about to get destroyed.
Isaac II: Wait, what? How much time do we have left?
Itch: I’d say about… 5 minutes.
Isaac II: Squad, go grab your stuff. We’re moving out. And make sure to get The Headphones.
Alexa II: Not forgetting Neph.
Nephri: But I’m right here, nya.
Alexa and Itch: Knowing parallel universes, Other Alexa’s probably talking about a different Nephri.
Caidence: Alright. Didn’t have much stuff. I’m ready.
Vampi: Itch, toss him up.
Itch: *grabs Caidence’s feet* Going up! *Caidence goes through the portal*
Jenny: Done. I got this myself. *she powers up her jump and goes through the portal*
Itch: *looking at his watch* I’d say about 3 minutes left.
Mizana: Heck it. *jumps through after Jenny*
Isaac II: Where’s Tech? I always keep my stuff with me.
Alexa: Don’t worry. She’ll be here soon.
*20 seconds pass*
Itch: 2 minutes left.
Isaac II: Friggit, I’m gonna go help her.
Alexa: Not without me!
*Alexa and Isaac II rush into Alexa II’s room, helping her grab everything she needs*
Itch: 30 seconds!
Alexa II: Time’s up.
Alexa I, Alexa II, and Isaac II: Let’s rush.
*the three rush back to the portal, jumping through it; Nephri, TAS, and Vampi follow, with Itch jumping in last as the portal closes*
(Meanwhile, in the regular universe)
Caidence: *jumps through, landing on the floor*
Taniza: Oh, hey, Itch, why are you guys back so quick— Wait, who are you?
Jenny: *jumping through the portal* No time to explain right now. Waiting on Isaac and Alexa.
Isaac I: I’m right here.
Mizana: *coming through the portal* Wrong Isaac.
*about 1 minute and 37 seconds pass*
Jenny: Where in heck are they?
*Isaac II, Alexa, and Alexa II come through the portal, the rest coming though one by one, and the portal closing behind Itch*
Isaac II: That was a close one.
Both Alexas: You can say that again.
Taniza: Alright, alright, what’s going on?
Binary Bard: What’s all the ruckus in here? *he stares at the two Alexas side by side* And why are there two Alexas?
Alexa: Time to answer questions. Itch had set the wrong coordinates, we went to their dimension and I saw this Alexa.
Isaac II: The grumpy one—
Itch: It’s Itch, dude.
Isaac II: told us we had five minutes to pack, so me, Alexa, Jenny, and Caidence jumped through.
Isaac I: Alright, this is going to be confusing. Can we simplify the names of parallel me and parallel Alexa?
Isaac II: Good idea. Call me “Fortlite” and call my Alexa “Techneko.”
Alexa I: Back to the drawing board, eh? Anyway, let’s get to OUR Q session.
E to Nephri: Who’s your senpai?
Nephri: Hmmm… Hard to tell, nya… Probably Alexa, nya.
Both Alexas: Figures.
E to Itch: What’s the recharge time on your parallel universe transporter thingy?
Itch: Honestly? Anywhere from 10 seconds to 2 minutes. Forgot if it was Alexa I, TAS, or Bard that did it, but they added a recharging battery.
Alexa II: A recharging battery… I gotta get myself one of those.
Alexa I: It’s somewhat easy really. Itch can get one for ya.
E to Alexa I and Nephri: Since you guys are dating now (and since I’m still lonely and bad at relationships), do you guys have any advice for me?
Alexa: Well, not much we can give ya. Really just be yourself, and find someone who likes you for who you truly are.
Nephri: Pretty much sums that up, nya. Can anyone else account for that?
Alexa II and Isaac II: Make that one pair.
Isaac I and Taniza: Make that 2.
Alexa I: Noted.
E to Itch, Alexa I, TAS, and Nephri: Why were you guys smirking? What are you implying?
Alexa I: *looks at TAS*
TAS: *looks at Nephri*
Nephri: *looks at Itch*
Itch: *looks at Alexa I*
All 4: *turning to an imaginary camera, smirking* You should know.
Alexa II: That just creeps me out.
Mizana: You get used to it.
E to everyone: Do you guys think I need a life?
Vampi, Alexa I, Nephri, Black Widow, and Dr. Hare: Maybe.
Itch, TAS, the rest of Team MINT, and the rest of the Villains: Yes.
The DJ Squad: Who is this again?
Alexa I: I’ll tell you all later.
Alexa II: *sigh* Nephri, put that on my TDL.
Nephri: But I don’t know what that is, nya…
Computerized voice that sounds oddly like Nephri: Added, nya.
Alexa II: I meant my AI assistant. Her name’s Nephri.
Nephri II: At your service, nya.
Taniza: Learning something new every day, that’s for sure.
Red Rider to Itch: Yeah, that question that everyone knows the answer to but nobody knows the question? The question’s 7×6.
Itch: Permission to rant?
Alexa I, Team MINT, Vampi, and TAS: Permission granted.
Itch: Here goes… *he takes a deep breath* That’s actually false, because in the story that says the answer to life, the universe, and everything, the computer that calculates the answer, named Deep Thought, said that the characters who asked for that answer never added a question. It’s said later in the story when the main characters Ford and Arthur talk to brainiac mice that the mice say that 7×6 would never be the question to life, the universe, and everything, due to how simplistic it is. Rather, they instead have to come up with a random question that would be plausible to get out of trouble. The makeshift question is actually “How many” whatever it was “does it take to truly reach enlightenment?” But, as stated IN the story, that is actually not the question, since it’s stated IN THE STORY that it’s not the actual question. Therefore, there basically is no question to life, the universe and everything. If you need more proof, look at MatPat’s Amazon Fire TV stick with Alexa capabilities.
Both Alexas: …are you done now?
Itch: *gasping for air* I… I think so…
Alexa I: Great. Onto the next question…
Vampi: Well… There are no more questions.
TAS: *plays the Donkey Kong Country death sound*
Alexa I: As always, if you have questions for any of us, feel free to ask. The new updated list of people are… Myself, Alexa; Alexa II; Nephri; Itch; Mizana; TAS; Isaac I; Isaac II; Taniza; Vampi; Jenny; and Caidence.
Jenny: Hey, I’m second to last. Is that good or something?
Caidence: I guess…
Alexa I: Whatever, just keep poppin’ it!
Vampi and Jenny’s editing note: This is actually uploaded 2 days early: we were going to make this post after Halloween, but Vampi had enough time in class to type this.