Alexa: Wwwwwwwwwwelcome, ladies, gentlemen, and any other subgroup of sentient beings, to the Compatilibility Test! Here we take questions from our readers and find out who is more compatible in a relationship with me. I’m your host and question asker, Alexa Hattomi!
Itch: Your data analyst, Itch Step.
Alexa: And on our soundboard is TAS. He doesn’t talk much.
TAS: *smiles and puts a thumbs up*
Alexa: In the first corner, we have the art thief, the spiderwoman-
Black Widow: I’m not called that.
Alexa: -the one and only, Black Widow!
Black Widow: *waves*
Alexa: And in the opposite corner, it’s the catwoman, the multiplier, the probably-just-as-amazing-as-Blackie-is Faunus, Nephri Teana!
Nephri: *waves, smiling, blowing kisses to the phone cameras put up around the room*
Black Widow: *rolls her eyes at Nephri*
Alexa: Time to get on with the show! Our first question, actually for Itch, from Lucky Wing, is…
LW to Itch: Wait, have you been to my dimension? Wait a tic, have you been watching me?!
Itch: Oh, yes I have. I can see your every move. I’m even watching you read this blog post.
Alexa, Nephri, Mizana, and Taniza: Now that’s just creepy.
Itch: Not as creepy as the fact you all said “that’s creepy” at the same exact time.
Alexa and Taniza: Touche.
Nephri and Mizana: You do have a point.
Alexa: But anyway, onto the next question… which is also for Itch.
LW to Itch again: Harvey’s in a relationship? When did that happen?
Team MINT, Itch, Alexa, and TAS’s TTS: Oh, you should know.
Itch: Seriously, why do we keep saying things in harmony?
Alexa: Must be some cosmic coincidence.
Vampi (the editor, after this show was finished): crap, they’re onto me
Alexa: Our next question, to the Villains… Ugh, this isn’t to the both of the contestants… Shut the cameras down, screwdriver this.
LW to the Villains: Do you guys have jobs?
Black Widow: Well, Alexa here had the bright idea of making a page where people could share fanart, and I’m the one who was taught to embed the pictures into the website and keep them from being taken by other people.
Captain Crawfish: Aye, I be working importin’ n’ exportin’.
Director D: I work at a hair salon, ironically.
Dr. Hare: I sell quality carrots.
Binary Bard: And since I’m a robot, I’m indirectly Alexa’s butler.
Alexa: Hehe, robot butler.
LW to Director D: Lucario is boss! It’s one of my favs too!
Director D: Well, my mind’s always shifting, so if you want to keep up to date, just ask Alexa when he’s on Discord.
Alexa: Yep, just ask me on- wait, how do you know I’m on Discord?
Director D: Bard hacked into it for no reason one day.
Alexa: Mordred, where’s your off switch?
Binary Bard: Don’t have one.
LW to “Alexa, and to everyone too, now that I think about it”: So I’m you-know-who? I mean, sometimes at school I go by Lady Voldemort, but how did you know about that?
Mizana, Blackie, and Nephri: What’s so funny?
Alexa: Lady Voldemort! That’s genius! 10 points to the House of Pancakes for whoever did that!
Itch, Isaac: Snap out of it, Alexa.
Alexa: Oh, right. Well, yes, we call you “you-know-who” because we’re used to seeing your Qs here. But I had no clue you were known as that in school! That’s just hilarious!
TAS: *walks behind the laughing Alexa and bonks her in the head*
Alexa: Oh, right, the rest of the Qs. Thanks for that, TAS.
TAS: *thumbs up*
LW to Dr. Hare: Are your ears real too?
Dr. Hare: My human ears or my bunny ears? it’s sometimes hard to hear through the bunny suit, but the bunny ears aren’t real. Sorry to disappoint you.
Nephri: Aw, that sucks.
Alexa: You would think that, Nephri. You’d always think that.
LW to Black Widow: Can you draw anime style?
Alexa: Finally, some questions for the Compatibility Test! Cameras on, everyone!
Taniza: *turns the cameras on using her electricity powers*
Black Widow: Well, I don’t know how to draw anime-style…
Alexa: Manga-style, actually, but still.
Black Widow: …I am trying to learn it, though.
Alexa: Nephri, your comments?
Nephri: Drawing with bullets into the ground is more my style.
Alexa: Itch, point to Blackie.
LW to everyone: Also, hi.
Black Widow: Hey.
Director D: Salutations.
Dr. Hare: Hello there.
Captain Crawfish: Aye, aye.
Binary Bard: Oh, hello.
Isaac: こんにちは (Konnichiwa) (vampi edit: that’s hello in japanese)
Taniza: 안녕하세요 (annyeonghaseyo) (vampi edit: that’s hello in korean)
LW to everyone again: Is anyone pumped about the Ninjago Movie or is that literally just me?
Alexa: Well, noting it could be an extension upon the Lego Movie and the Lego Batman movie, I’d say it’s pretty hype.
Itch: But we’re not that big fans of Ninjago.
Isaac: That’s not even what ninjas are like.
Alexa: What, do you have to say every ninja thing isn’t what ninjas would be like?
Isaac: Not every ninja thing. Just most ninja things.
Alexa: Well, that’s it for this episode of The Compatibility Test. As always, ask the host aka me, Alexa Hattomi, Data Analyst Itch Step, Soundboard User TAS, Art Site Programmer Black Widow, Barber Director D, Cargo Ship Captain Crawfish, Carrot Seller Dr. Hare, Robot Butler Binary Bard, Sub-Host Mizana Kirone, Ninja Isaac Kyuketsuki, Catwoman Nephri Teana, or Electric Samurai Taniza Itena questions.
Vampi the Editor: you can also ask me questions too, I guess. did this on computer, that’s both reminding me to add the correct accents and repair the shift button from the last paragraph
Alexa: And as always, keep poppin’ it!
Black Widow: You know what, Nephri? You can have him. I get bored of most people easily. No offense, Alexa, you’re an awesome guy and all, but I’m just not here for relationships.
TAS: *plays sad violin song, going closer to Alexa’s ear and turning it up louder*
Alexa: *punches TAS*